Introduction Parenting is a lifelong journey, but as our children grow into young adults, the transition from guidance to independence becomes one of the most complex phases. Dr. Jack Stoltzfus, a seasoned psychologist and parenting coach, understands this challenge well. His new book, The Parent’s Launch Code: Loving and Letting Go of Our Adult Children, serves as a guide for parents struggling to support their young adults while fostering their independence. In this blog, we take an inside look at Dr. Stoltzfus’s inspiration, writing process, and the invaluable lessons he shares in his book.
Writing The Parent’s Launch Code
What inspired you to write The Parent’s Launch Code, and how did the writing process unfold for you?
My personal experience of estrangement from my father in my young adult years deeply influenced me. My PhD dissertation focused on defining and measuring emotional separation from parents, and as a parent of adult children, I’ve experienced firsthand the challenges of launching them into adulthood. Additionally, I began seeing more parents in my clinical practice struggling with “failure to launch” cases, reinforcing the need for this book.
Did your professional experiences or personal journey as a parent influence specific sections of the book?
Absolutely. My experiences as both a psychologist and a parent informed every chapter. The struggles and triumphs I faced raising my own children provided real-life examples of what works and what doesn’t.
What was the most challenging part of writing this book, and how did you overcome it?
The biggest challenge was the time it took away from my wife. Now that the book is finished, I’m making an effort to give that time back to her. I also faced several starts and stops in trying to get the book published, but perseverance and belief in my mission kept me going.
You’ve written six short books on parenting. How does The Parent’s Launch Code tie into or expand on those works?
The Parent’s Launch Code is essentially a compilation of the six books, with about one-third of the material being new insights based on my last ten years of experience working with parents.
What were your primary goals while writing this book, and how do you hope it will impact readers?
My mission is to help parents who are struggling with their young adult children. I want to provide a clear, actionable roadmap that empowers them to let go while maintaining a loving connection.
Were there any surprising insights or revelations you encountered during the writing process that shaped the final content of the book?
One revelation was that launching young adults is much like teaching a child to ride a bike—you guide, support, and eventually, you have to let go.
About the Cover and Design
The cover of a book often serves as its first impression. Can you share the story behind the design of The Parent’s Launch Code?
The cover was my idea—I wanted to incorporate the six key parenting practices with the concept of a combination lock, representing the “code” parents need to master. The hands reaching out symbolize both guidance and letting go.
What elements did you feel were essential to include on the cover to convey the book’s message?
The six key practices, the idea of a code, and the visual representation of parents supporting and releasing their children.
Did you have a specific vision for the cover, or did you collaborate with a designer to develop it?
I worked closely with a graphic designer to bring my vision to life.
How do you think the cover reflects the book’s theme of guiding young adults toward independence while maintaining a strong connection?
The combination lock signifies the structured approach parents need, while the reaching hands reinforce the balance of love and release.
Marshall Goldsmith and the Foreword
How did your connection with Marshall Goldsmith come about, and what led to his writing the foreword for your book?
Marshall is a personal friend and mentor. I’ve known him and his family for years, and he shares similar experiences raising his own young adults. He practices what he preaches—he even asks his kids for “feedforward” on how to be a better dad, which aligns with chapter two of my book.
What was it like working with someone as esteemed as Marshall Goldsmith? Did he offer any additional advice or perspectives that influenced your book?
Marshall has been a mentor to me for years. He read the book, immediately connected with its message, and offered valuable feedback.
How do you feel his endorsement and foreword enhance the book’s credibility and reach?
His name and expertise in leadership and coaching add credibility. He also has 1.5 million LinkedIn followers, many of whom are parents who could benefit from this book.
Marshall Goldsmith is known for his expertise in leadership and personal growth. How do his insights align with your philosophy on parenting young adults?
Marshall emphasizes that great leaders listen and ask questions rather than control and dictate. That’s a crucial mindset shift for parents launching their young adults.
What feedback or encouragement did Marshall Goldsmith provide that resonated with you during this project?
He appreciated my ability to adapt leadership principles to parenting young adults. He also encouraged me to keep spreading this message to help struggling parents.
Reflections on the Book’s Journey
Now that the book is published, how do you feel about the final product? Did it turn out as you envisioned?
I am very pleased and proud of the final product. I truly believe it will make a difference for parents.
What feedback have you received so far from readers, and how has it affirmed or challenged your ideas?
I’ve received over twenty-three Amazon reviews with an overall 4.7-star rating. That feedback confirms that parents find it valuable and relatable.
If you could go back and change or add anything during the writing process, what would it be?
I might have skipped writing the six smaller books and gone straight to The Parent’s Launch Code. But in hindsight, those smaller books were stepping stones that helped shape this book.
What advice would you give to aspiring authors working on a topic they are passionate about?
Passion alone isn’t enough—you also need grit and resilience. Writing is a long and sometimes frustrating process, but believing in your message keeps you going.
What’s next for you? Are there other books or projects on the horizon related to parenting or personal growth?
I may create The Parent’s Launch Code Workbook to provide parents with practical exercises and assignments to reinforce the book’s lessons.
Conclusion
Letting go is one of the hardest, yet most necessary, aspects of parenting. The Parent’s Launch Code offers a compassionate, practical guide to helping young adults thrive while maintaining a strong parent-child bond. Through his expertise and personal experiences, Dr. Stoltzfus provides a blueprint for a successful launch, ensuring that both parents and young adults can navigate this transition with confidence.
For more resources and insights, visit parentslettinggo.com and consider picking up a copy of The Parent’s Launch Code: Loving and Letting Go of Our Adult Children on Amazon today.
